Lockdown
by HotchnerJareau
Summary: A tired, stressed out Jennifer Jareau walks into work with her young daughter only to realize that her day was about to become a lot more hazardous than usual.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I haven't had much time to be working on stories, I've been busy with school. I'm glad I took time to focus, though, because I am getting grades in the 90's! Anyway, I have been stuck for story ideas and I got sick of writing one shots that ended mid sentence when I lost interest. So, without further ado, I present to you my newest 'legacy' story: Lockdown.**

 **Notes:**

 **\- family includes Hotch, JJ, Jack, Henry, Tyler, Benjamin, and Grace**

 **\- Grace being deaf is canon.**

 **\- resides in The Palisades, Washington, D.C.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Stuffing papers into a shoebox, JJ swallowed. She kicked the box under the bed and stepped back. Letters from war. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about those. Her therapist had specifically told her not to. Here she was again, making herself even more sick. She couldn't afford to be more sick. Taking herself out of her thoughts, she blinked a few times and looked around the room. Now it was time to begin her busy day. She dragged herself to her walk-in closet and opened the door slowly. The first thing she saw was a white blouse, which went with her black pencil skirt, the one that came to her knees. She pulled her sweater up— her husband's sweater— and looked at her stomach in the mirror. Since having her triplets 4 years before, she hadn't quite lost every pound. It wasn't obvious, but it was something that Jennifer constantly thought about. Her c-section scar wasn't as prominent as it had been before, but, again, it was something that was on JJ's mind. She slipped her skirt on and tucked her blouse in. She threw her hair up into a ponytail and tied it with a light blue elastic.

The woman grabbed her heels and held them in her right hand as she rushed down the stairs, eager to get her children out of the door so that she could get to work. She dropped her shoes at the door and went through to the kitchen, where her 5 children were sitting around the breakfast nook.

Out of breath, JJ said, "Jack, Henry, you guys could've started breakfast. You know I have work today."

Jack and Henry went to get up when JJ stopped them.

"Sit down, I'm here now."

Jennifer filtered through the seemingly endless boxes of children's cereal and found the usual ones. She poured them into bowls and filled them with milk and threw a spoon into each and served them as if she were a waitress. That's what she felt like, anyway. Her next task was making sure Grace was fed and tested. That included making a whole other breakfast for her. She went to the fridge and got out strawberries, peaches, and blueberries, and put them into a bowl. She dumped yoghurt over top and stuck a spoon in it. Before she gave it to her young daughter, she took out her testing kit and began to test her. She pricked Grace's finger and squeezed it until a tiny bead of blood came out and then she put it on a strip, which she then inserted into a meter. Her number came back a little low, which was usual for her. She grabbed a vial of insulin from the fridge, stuck a needle into it, drew it up to the needed amount, and injected it into Grace's belly. Once she had gotten her insulin, she could eat.

"You guys need to be finished in 10 minutes, we have to go, or we'll be late," JJ told her kids as she left the kitchen.

She went up two flights of stairs and when she reached the attic, she went straight to her 4 year old daughter's bed. She picked up everything she might need for the day, such as her blanket, extra supplies, and toys. She stuffed it into her large handbag and ran straight back downstairs. When she reached the kitchen, her children had surprisingly each put their dishes in the sink and tucked their chairs in. They were at the door, putting their coats and boots on.

"Benjamin, I think you'll need more than just a jacket," JJ told her 4 year old son. "Playtime will be really cold if you don't have a coat."

Ben moaned as he reached for his coat. Jennifer filtered through her mess of a handbag and looked up at the kids. By now, they had gotten ready. They usually were good at getting ready, except today felt slow. She opened the front door and unlocked her car and let the children get in while she locked up. Closing the door, she took one last look around the open concept main floor, decorated in tinsel and red and gold. Christmas was fast approaching. With less than a month to go, JJ and Hotch were more stressed than usual.

"Don't play in the snow before you get in the car!" JJ cried as Benjamin and Tyler engaged in a brief snowball fight that lasted a mere few seconds before their mother's tired voice stopped them.

Once all of the children were loaded into the car, Jennifer could finally breathe. She blew her stuffy nose and stuck the key in and turned the car on. They backed down the driveway and started to drive out of their quiet neighborhood into the main area of DC. Jack, Henry, Benjamin, and Tyler attended the same school, while Grace attended a school for deaf people. Jennifer had realized that Grace's school wasn't open that day and babysitters were never available on Fridays. It only took a few minutes to get to the boys' school. It was large, two floors, newly renovated, and well maintained. It would be an understatement to say that JJ and Hotch loved the school. Once the boys had been dropped off, JJ knew she would have to take Grace to work with her.

"Hey, Grace, at least mommy can sing and you won't laugh," JJ said to her daughter, who paid no mind to what her mother was saying. She kept her focus out of the window. JJ laughed.

She didn't think she'd be sitting at a traffic light applying cream to her face, nor did she think she would be applying deodorant either. When the lights went green, she tossed her deodorant onto the passenger seat and stepped on the pedal. Every few minutes, she would watch her daughter from her rear view mirror. Grace continued to watch the buildings and trees and people pass by. The car felt empty without the boys. JJ eyed Grace in her car seat and right beside her were Ben and Tyler's car seats- empty.

JJ pulled into the bureau building's parking garage and stopped the car. She grabbed her handbag and got out and went around to get Grace. The child looked sleepy.

[We're going to see daddy.] JJ signed to Grace.

[Now?]

[Yes.]

The fact that Grace was profoundly deaf and had been since birth was still something that hit JJ like a train. It made her sad and heartbroken to know that her voice will never register in her daughter's mind. They got to the elevator and were greeted by one of the agents who worked in the unit on the floor just below the behavioral analysis unit. Grace stuck her little hand out of her lilac winter coat and waved at him before hiding behind her mother again.

"Grace's school's not open today, super convenient," JJ said sarcastically, causing her co-worker to laugh.

"Oh, don't feel bad," the man said. "I've done it with my daughter before. I think they like it. It's like...take your kid to work day, though I don't think this place is the ideal place to have young kids like them."

JJ nodded. "I agree, she covers her eyes before I even tell her to!"

The elevator reached the 6th floor and JJ and Grace stepped out. They were greeted by Penelope Garcia, who picked the latter up and gave her a giant hug. She said hello to JJ and handed her a case file.

"Is it bad?" JJ asked as she started to cringe.

Garcia shrugged. "It always is, Buttercup."

JJ used her free hand to grab her daughters' and they walked into the bullpen where Reid and Rossi were making coffee.

"Look who turned up," Reid said jokingly, causing JJ to hit him on his shoulder. He laughed and bent down to Grace and hugged her.

"She's a bit tired," JJ informed them. "She was low this morning...we corrected it, but I don't know how much it's helped."

Reid, knowing sign language, began a conversation with Grace. JJ turned away from them and looked up at Rossi.

"So? How's it been?" He asked.

JJ looked at him and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Your break? Two weeks off?"

"What break? I get no breaks anymore. I'm pretty sure that stopped when the triplets were born, or maybe even before that. Jack and Henry are handfuls as it is."

Rossi laughed. "I can agree with you there."

"Jen!"

JJ looked over to where her name was being called and realized it was her husband. She dropped her handbag at her desk chair and raced through the bullpen, straight into his arms. She'd missed him so much. He'd only been gone a few days.

"How was the last case?" She asked, looking up at him as she pulled away from his chest.

"Bad; Seattle has some of the worst crimes we've solved on record."

Jennifer pursed her lips as she turned to look at Grace. She sighed. She wasn't supposed to be bringing her to work. She wasn't supposed to see the monsters. Her parents were supposed to make sure the monsters never got her.

"Look, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't want to bring her but what kind of babysitter is available on a Friday?"

Hotch squinted in thought. "Jen, it's okay, she can stay with us. I don't want to be saying this but—"

"She's deaf, so that makes it okay, right?"

"No," he said suddenly. "I mean, yes, wait, no. Look, all I'm saying is she can't hear, so she won't know what we're talking about unless one of us deliberately signed to her."

JJ looked down. "I hate this, you know," she admitted. "I hate how we can't talk to her like a norm–"

"I get it," Hotch said softly as he put his hands on JJ's shoulders. "And I think we should go. It's briefing time."

The team gathered in the round table room and watched as Garcia turned on the screen, revealing images of a woman with long black hair and pale skin. Her skin was bruised and bloody and cut up. Her clothes had been torn to shreds and she looked terribly thin.

"This is Renée Stevens, 36 years old, type 1 diabetic..."

JJ and Hotch exchanged glances as Garcia continued on.

"...deprived her of insulin for 2 days before she died. Autopsies confirm she was beaten and raped multiple times after her death. She was found in Rock Creek Park yesterday."

Jennifer swallowed as her left hand instinctively covered Grace's ear as she curled up on her mother's lap. She was worried. That was it. Two days was all it took for the woman to give out. She could only imagine her own daughter going through that. Maybe today wasn't the right day to come back to work.

"JJ?"

"I'm sorry," JJ told them. "I'm just...a little spaced out right now."

Morgan leaned back in his chair. "Do you want to get a drink of water?"

JJ shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

She put herself back into reality when her husband's voice came into the atmosphere.

"I want everyone in cars, going to Rock Creek Park in 10 minutes," he instructed the team, who had started closing their files.

Jennifer carried her sleeping child over to the door.

"Hey, at least our talking didn't keep her from falling asleep," she joked. "Or uh—"

"Jen, are you okay with this?"

"With what, the case?"

"Yeah," Hotch replied. "I mean, with the victim being a type 1 and stuff...are you able to handle it? Because you don't need to work today."

JJ inhaled deeply. "We need money. We need to buy insulin for Grace, and we can't do that if I'm not working. I know you earn enough for our family, but I want to work and I need to work."

Hotch nodded. "Okay, I understand."

"But you don't," JJ shot back. "The other day, while you were in Seattle, I went to the mall with Ben, Tyler, and Grace while Jack and Henry were in school. And a woman came up to me and asked me if I had a nanny, someone to help take care of them. Does it look like I need someone to help me take care of our children?"

"No, but some people are just curious, Jen, you have to let this go. People asked me the same thing. Try walking into a sports store with four boys, and having two identical ones. You get questions. Ben and Tyler are identical. That's all I tell them. They just want to know."

JJ rolled her eyes. "You really don't get it, do you? It's different when you're a mother. I've been asked if they're natural. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"This is about you working, and somehow, we've taken it back to the triplets. Again. I thought we were over this. People will ask and if we don't want to answer, that's all we say. JJ, I'm saying this to you in the nicest way possible. It's going to happen."

"Okay, whatever," JJ said, dismissing his words with her hand. "We have to go. And we have to figure out what we're going to do with Grace."

"I don't think we'll be going anywhere for a while," Rossi said, turning to the door, where other members of law enforcement were lined up, locking the bullpen doors.

Jennifer stepped forward. "What's going on?"

"We're on lockdown," a tall male said as he started covering the bulletproof glass doors.

* * *

 **A/N: This story will not have an updating schedule. I will upload whenever I can get around to it. I will be working on it piece by piece and will update when I reach a certain amount of words. I usually aim for 2000. So, anyway, let me know what you think of it so far! I know _it_ hasn't quite 'happened' yet, but I hope you are liking the writing, the storyline, etc. **

**Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Updated to chapter 2! I hope you are enjoying it so far!**

* * *

The room was silent and dark. Jennifer Jareau sat behind her husband's desk, holding their daughter against her chest for warmth. She wasn't supposed to see this.

"Aaron," she whispered, moving over to him. Grace remained asleep on her chest.

"I'm so sorry, Jen. We're in a lockdown with our daughter. I thought we were keeping the kids separate from our work."

JJ sighed as she looked down. "I know. But, what about her insulin? She has enough to last her this afternoon, maybe through tomorrow. We don't know how long we'll be on lockdown. This place has no access to insulin. Aaron, what are we going to do?"

"I'm sure Reid knows something," JJ's husband replied, moving closer to her. "And if he doesn't, we have to inform everyone that Grace has diabetes. We can't avoid this anymore."

"I packed enough to last a day, maybe two. We'd be lucky to get out of here tonight."

Hotch nodded as he opened the bag JJ had packed before she left for work. He went through it and pulled out the seemingly endless pile of testing strips and needles and candies. He put them each into their respective piles and continued going through.

"How were her levels the past few days?" He asked, looking up.

JJ looked down at Grace and stroked her hair back. "She's been a bit low, actually," she admitted. "I don't know why, 'cause we're great at managing her sugars. It's weird."

"Could be the early symptoms of D—"

Jennifer looked up at her husband. "DKA?"

"Yeah," he answered sheepishly.

"We manage her diabetes fully, DKA shouldn't be an issue. I don't get it. I can't be DKA. It's not DKA. She's probably just exhausted from school. Going to kindergarten 4 days a week is tiring for her. And besides, studies show that deaf students are more tired upon arriving home since they rely on vision 100% to learn instead of vision and hearing. She gets tired more easily."

"Okay," Hotch said, taking the information in. "But what are we going to do when we run out of insulin? Field agents in the FBI can't be diabetic, so there aren't any other vials around, and even if there were, they wouldn't be Grace's type."

JJ sighed. "You're worrying me," she told him quickly. " I wonder if Spence knows anything about this." She put sleeping Grace on her husband's lap and quietly left the office.

The officers were still standing up, covering doors and windows with a type of material Jennifer had never seen before. Spencer Reid was sitting against the wall by the kitchenette, sipping coffee. Was he even taking this lockdown seriously? No, scratch that. He probably was, but it didn't look like it. Maybe he should be the one holding a 4 year old girl in his arms, worrying about her every second.

"Spence?" JJ hissed, walking slowly through the dim bullpen. Every step she took felt like she was walking on fire. She had to be careful. When she got to where her friend was sitting, she slid down beside him.

"Are you okay?" He asked before sipping his coffee.

Jennifer shrugged. "Say a person didn't have insulin, uh, the case, the girl, her...yeah, um, say she didn't have insulin...how...how would she survive?"

Reid swallowed as he started to think. "I...I don't know, um, if she was hypoglycemic—"

"Hyperglycemic, what if she was hyperglycemic?" JJ asked suddenly.

"She doesn't produce her own insulin, so, I would say she'd have to exercise to reduce her glucose, but she would have to check for ketones first. Drinking water helps, but I doubt it would help for long, and the chances of her being given water is unlikely, given her situation."

JJ took a deep breath and swallowed. "And how long do you think she could last on just water and activity?"

"I don't know, JJ, but I don't think this is about the case."

Jennifer turned to him and looked at him skeptically.

"How much insulin do you have for her?" He asked gently.

JJ shrugged. "Enough to last us for today. I'm scared."

"She will be okay, JJ. We will be out of here before—"

* * *

Jennifer Jareau clutched Spencer Reid's figure as their bodies collected dust from above. A sudden warmth could be felt and at once, they both lifted their heads.

"That was a bomb," JJ whispered shakily, her face ashen and grey.

"I know," Reid hissed back, equally as horrified.

JJ coughed while she choked on the thick black air. "Where's Grace?"

"JJ, they're okay. Stay here...for your safety."

"No, Grace is with Aaron and I need to know if they're okay!" She said with difficulty. "They have to be okay."

Jennifer got up slowly and scampered along the floor and up the stairs to her husband's office. She slipped in the door and looked around quickly before spotting him.

"Where's Grace?" She asked shakily.

Hotch leaned back and revealed their young child sleeping in his lap. Her insulin sat beside him, presumably unharmed.

"She's still asleep, right?" JJ asked.

The man nodded, clearing the air around their daughter.

"I bet she'll sleep through this whole thing."

"I hope she does," JJ said. "God knows what nightmares she would have."

Hotch cleared his throat as he watched his wife sit down. "How are you?" He asked her softly. "Do you need your medication?"

"I don't...I don't wanna think about it, babe, please, can we just focus on Grace and her medication? Because it's a lot more important than PTSD."

"Jennifer, a bomb went off." Hotch said sternly, shifting Grace as he moved. "You have post traumatic stress disorder and you're choosing to ignore it. Please, take medication and then you can carry on."

JJ swallowed as she rolled her eyes. She crouched down and sorted through her bag until she found the barely used bottle of paroxetine. She hated living off of medication. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was supposed to have moved past her PTSD. She swallowed a pill and put the bottle back into her bag.

"This doesn't help," she said quietly. "All this does is make me less depressed, which I clearly am not."

"The doctor said paroxetine is their highest ranking medication specifically for PTSD, and from the research I've done on it, it's very effective."

JJ rolled her eyes again and wiped her mouth. She looked over at her sleeping daughter and put her foot down. She wasn't going to wake up—not unless somebody shook her. It wasn't worth it. Another bomb could go off and she might feel the vibration and panic. But she may not. Jennifer started to pace the room.

"Can you please sit down?" Hotch asked, patting the space beside him, where she should be, crouched down.

"No!" JJ shrieked, tightening her ponytail. "None of us can die, okay? Okay, look, Grace has just started learning numbers, and...and, so have Ben and Tyler, alright? And Jack and Henry...they're not even in high school yet. They need us to support them throughout school, and if we die today, that's not gonna happen. So, we can't die. We won't die. We have a reason to live."

Hotch shook his head. "JJ, we don't know when we'll get out of here—"

"We're going to live, Hotch...you have to believe me. We'll make it through this."

"I hope so," Aaron said, pulling Grace's purple blanket around her. They weren't about to lose their family. Not today.

* * *

"We can't give her much more insulin, Aaron, she's so hungry and we don't have a lot left," JJ told her husband as she finished injecting some insulin into Grace's right thigh. She looked to her left, where sweets were laid out with their carbs listed beside them. "I knew I should've packed more. We're at the end of this month's vial, and I knew there was one more in the fridge. Do you know how close I was to grabbing it?"

Hotch put his arm around Jennifer, who had now sat down beside him. He rubbed her shoulder until she was calm and looked forward, where thick, black smoke filled the air.

"This will be on the news," Aaron said with no emotion. "We're victims now."

"We're not victims," JJ said. "Screw being victims. We're agents. We're the ones who save those people. We save the victims. We are not the victims, you hear me?"

"Jen," Hotch tried saying. "Look—"

JJ squinted as she watched her daughter stir and move around in her father's lap.

"She's waking up," she hissed. "No, no, get her to go back to sleep!"

Hotch shook his head. "I can't, Jen, she's waking up. She's been sleeping for over an hour. I can't force her to go to sleep again." He looked down at his daughter and smiled at her.

[Good sleep?]

[Yes. What's happening?]

Hotch stopped himself from signing as he looked up at his wife. "What do I say?" He asked. Grace's head was going back and forth as she kept pointing to her ear.

"Gracie, we get it, you're deaf," JJ said softy. Her hands moved in swift motions as she signed to her. She was frustrated. She wanted to be at home with her family. This wasn't the way the holidays were supposed to be. They weren't supposed to be trapped inside a building, fearing for their lives.

[We have to stay in here for a while, okay?] Hotch signed to Grace.

[Okay,] Grace replied, her hands moving softly through the motions. [I'm thirsty.]

Jennifer's eyes widened as she looked at her husband. She eyed the almost-empty insulin vial on Aaron's desk and pressed a hand against her forehead.

"I can't do this," she said in a panic. "She's thirsty...and...and thats a sign of...oh my God...she's going to be sick."

"Give me her stuff, let's find out if she's actually sick...she might just be thirsty."

JJ rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "How are you okay with this? Why aren't you freaking out?"

Hotch looked up at his wife as he pricked Grace's index finger. He squeezed a small bead of blood from it and transferred it to a strip, which he then put in the meter.

"I can't freak out. I have to be calm. We're going to be okay. We have to put faith towards a good outcome. And I know that all of us will make it out of here alive. You have to know that, too."

JJ nodded as she bit her lip. "I want to believe."

"Then be still. I'm here." He pulled JJ in and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

Grace's meter beeped and Hotch leaned over and read the number.

"Crap," he muttered. "She needs insulin. Her sugar is too high, there isn't enough in the vial to balance it." He turned to JJ with wide eyes. "What do we do?"

JJ swallowed thickly. "I...I don't know...but we have to figure out what to do soon...she's becoming lethargic. Look at her."

Hotch looked down at his pale, soot-covered daughter and felt his heart break. She was sick. Soon she would be very sick. If she didn't get help soon, she would die.

* * *

 **A/N: It's relatively easy to guess what Grace is going through. But that's not the main issue here...REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here is chapter 3! This is a chapter that highlights how JJ and Hotch feel, knowing their daughter's life is at risk. I hope this gives you insight as to how rapidly a serious complication like this can deteriorate.**

* * *

Jennifer sat in the corner of Aaron's office stroking her daughter's smoke-filled hair. It was a mess. The usual strawberry blonde colour now looked like a form of grey. Grace was pale. The lights were all out, but the light that shone through the window was enough for them to see that their child wasn't herself. JJ wanted to check for ketones, but she wasn't able to get Grace to urinate. The child had gotten the stubbornness from her mother, and it became more prominent with each passing day. She was hungry and thirsty, yet she couldn't have anything until she had insulin.

"She's showing symptoms of hyperglycemia," JJ said under her breath as she unlocked her cellphone. It should've been the first thing she did, but it wasn't. With no bars, she sighed deeply and wiped the forming tears from her eyes.

"Hyperglycemia takes a while to set in, we have to remember that. If we're out of here this afternoon, she can be taken to a hospital and treated with no problems," Hotch said, moving over to his unharmed desk. He opened the drawer and sifted through it until he found the pamphlets he'd gotten from Grace's endocrinologist at her last appointment.

JJ dropped her phone beside her and put her hand out. "Let me see that," she said, using her other hand to stroke Grace's forehead.

Hotch handed JJ a pamphlet on hyperglycemia and watched as she opened it. She rolled her eyes and looked up at him.

"What?" He asked.

"We can't check for ketones, it's not possible. We can't do it in here, and we can't get to a toilet. We've failed the first step."

The man shook his head and looked down at the other pamphlets. "There's got to be something in here for when there's no insulin available," he mentioned.

JJ sighed again as she looked down. "This is all my fault," she mumbled, running her soft fingers along Grace's dotted-with-red ones. "If she dies, it's all my f—"

"She is not going to die," Hotch told her. "We didn't know this was going to happen. We didn't know our lives would be put on the line. We didn't know."

"I get that," JJ said, wiping her nose. "I just...s-sometimes I need a reminder that I'm doing okay...because I'm not feeling like myself...a-and I don't want to be the cause of her death."

Aaron put the pamphlets on the desk and stood up. "You're doing...you're doing more than okay, JJ. You're—"

"A ticking bomb, H-Hotch...a ticking bomb that will go off one day and you'll have no idea what to do. And medication won't help me and you'll be convinced that it's your fault...b-but it's not. It's mine."

"JJ, where is this coming from?"

JJ licked her lips and sniffled. "The nightmares...I have them every single night and—"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You never asked."

"Maybe I should've."

JJ nodded lightly as she looked down at Grace's small frame. She leaned over and kissed her and stroked her hair, collecting the soot and smoke on her hands.

"JJ," Aaron said shakily as he sat down beside her. "I am always here, you don't have to wonder. We've been married for 4 years and I have never once left your side. You'll always have me..." He took her hand and held it tightly. "You're not alone."

* * *

"Reid," Morgan groaned as the younger man pulled a shard of glass from his shoulder. "Reid, what's going on? You're shaking."

"A bomb just went off," Spencer said quietly, continuing on with his work.

Morgan scoffed. "Yeah, I kinda got that. Really, what's going on?—"

"It's Grace," Reid said quickly. "It's nothing."

"Reid, Grace isn't nothing. She's your goddaughter. Why are you worried?" Morgan asked.

Reid swallowed. "She's hyperglycemic...she has no insulin left and her body is breaking her fat down to use for energy. She probably has soaring ketones, which JJ won't find out about until they get her to the hospital, and she's most likely scared out of her mind, thinking it's all her fault. I don't know, that's probably why I'm worried."

"Reid." Morgan said sternly as his eyes widened. "You're a doctor—"

"Not a medical doctor," the younger man clarified quickly as he placed the small piece of glass onto a tissue and began cleaning the wound. "She needs medical doctors who can administer insulin, and unfortunately, there aren't any here."

Morgan put his hand over his friend's. "You're shaking. Go help them."

* * *

Spencer Reid rushed into his boss's office and threw himself onto the ground where Grace was. Jennifer and Aaron were both confused and looked just about ready to pass out from the amount of smoke they'd inhaled.

"Have you checked for ketones?" The man said out of breath.

JJ shook her head. "We can't!" She cried. "We can't do a urine check."

"Do you have water?" Reid asked, trying to catch his breath again. "It helps to wash her out."

"But, she'll pee and we can't do the test anywhere!" JJ reasoned. "She absolutely has to be in a safe environment to be free from contamination."

Reid sighed. "You're right. Do...do you have a blood ketone meter?"

JJ shook her head. "No, I never bring it because we can always get to a bathroom if I think she's got ketones, but I didn't know we'd be trapped in a burning building for a day, or I wouldn't have come at all."

"Our only option is to let her drink until we get help. Rossi said search and rescue are on their way up, but they're having difficulty." Reid said, picking Grace up slowly.

"Where are you going?" Hotch asked, standing up.

Reid licked his lips as he thought for an answer. "We can't leave, I can't get her to safety. I don't know what I'm doing until we get to a hospital."

JJ sat down and covered her mouth. "Put her on the ground, inhaling smoke will only worsen her condition. She can't afford to get much worse."

Hotch shook his head as he moved over to Grace. "For 3 weeks after she was born, she lived on a ventilator. She weighed less than 2 pounds, and her lungs weren't fully developed."

"You're saying—" Reid started.

"He's saying she might not be able to handle the toxicity of the air," JJ said quietly. "The doctors told us about this, about the future. And we've noticed it...in all of them, actually...the triplets..."

Reid cleared his throat as he put Grace down. "Their lungs aren't as strong as they should be, but you live with it and you work around it and this is what we have to do to work around it."

"Does she have a good pulse?" JJ asked shakily.

"JJ, I can't be sure of that," Reid said, pressing his fingers to Grace's neck. "I mean, she has a pulse, but I don't know how promising it is."

JJ made an exasperated groan and leaned back against the wall. She collected her breath and swallowed; anything to get herself back together.

"This has to be DKA," she muttered.

"Okay, let's run over her symptoms," Reid said.

Hotch cleared his throat. "Jen, you said she's been high the past few days, and then today, she came in and was low and slept and now she's...like this."

"She's been at 195. That's what she's tested almost consistently for the past 3 days. Ideally, we like to keep her at 162, so it's strange...but...this morning she was 72, which is a bit low for the morning, so I worried that she wasn't getting enough sleep or if she got too much insulin to cover her night, but—"

"Please tell me you smell that too," Reid said, interrupting Jennifer.

"The fruit?" Hotch asked.

Reid nodded. "Any chance you have fruit in here?"

JJ began to shake her head. "No...she's not...oh no, her ketones must be soaring...w-we're smelling the ketones in her body, how sick is that?"

Hotch moved over to JJ and wrapped his arms around her for support and held her for a few seconds before letting her go. He sat back against the wall beside his wife and kept quiet.

"This is so sick," JJ said, mortified. "The...the ketones...we can smell them...this...this isn't right. This is...oh, God, Spence, can you help?"

Reid pushed his long, messy hair off of his forehead and exhaled deeply. "I don't know," he said, as if he were telling himself. "We have to get Grace to the hospital right now if she's going to have a good chance."

"Another bomb is about to go off," Jennifer said quietly as she peered out of the office blinds. "There's...there's a timer on it and search and rescue probably won't be up for a while." This time, her words were shaky and had gotten almost difficult to understand.

"We're not concerned about the ticking bomb," Hotch muttered as he stroked Grace's hair back and ran his hand over her soft, yet cold skin. "We're concerned about Grace's ticking time."

"Do you know how long we have until the next bomb goes off?" Reid asked as he started to prepare Grace's finger for glucose testing.

JJ watched as the people in the bullpen talked and moved around scarcely as though they were walking on egg shells. Out of nowhere, a shriek came, answering the man's question.

"20 minutes," Hotch said.

"Why so long? Wouldn't they want to get the job done fast?" JJ asked, looking back at her husband from the window.

"They want us to know death is there, that it's coming and we can't do anything to stop it." Reid said quietly as he clicked the lancing device into Grace's cold finger. For a moment, that was the loudest sound in the room.

JJ watched as he drew blood from her finger and let the test strip soak it up. "Tell me her number."

"It's reading it, JJ, hold on," Reid said in a frustrated tone. "378."

Hotch and JJ froze. They exchanged glances quickly and turned back to their sick daughter.

"They...the doctors...told us we were supposed to start checking for ketones when she gets up to 200...and...and...oh, God, is she going to die?"

Reid shrugged. "JJ, I didn't study diabetes much, I know just as much as you do, maybe more, but that's history, and...back then, patients died before insulin became of use...they had no idea what was causing these people to get so sick."

"She has no insulin right now, she's just like them," JJ said with desperation in her voice. "And if she doesn't get some soon, she will die!"

Hotch swallowed thickly. He didn't want to think about the boys, about how worried they'd be when they realize their parents and sister are in the hospital instead of at home. He didn't want to think about his daughter being so ill. Would she still function the same? Will her life still have this quality? Or will it be impacted? Will her small body be able to keep up with such trauma?

"JJ," he said suddenly. "Search and rescue will be up shortly. You signed in downstairs with Grace, and they know she's a diabetic. She will be top priority, I can assure you that."

Jennifer tried to breathe easy but couldn't, knowing that it was a war between life and death for her baby girl.

* * *

 **A/N: The next part will be kind of quick. We will get to see the main events of this story in play and how people around this young girl are affected. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter required a huge ton of research, so I am hoping it's as accurate as can be. Keep in mind that this will NOT be a hospital fic, it's only getting better from here. I will be showcasing their suffering as well as their healing, so you can see the journey they have been on.**

* * *

Coughing and spluttering, Jennifer Jareau held onto her husband as they emerged from the rough and damaged federal building. Up ahead, their 4 year old daughter was being wheeled away. Swarms of people lined the area and there seemed to be no sense of structure. No sense of direction. JJ turned around and looked up at the building and squinted. Half had smoke coming from it. Half was untouched.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked as he looked his wife up and down.

JJ nodded. "A couple bruises and cuts, but I think I'm okay...you? Are you okay?"

Hotch shrugged. "I didn't inhale as much smoke as you, but I'm doing alright. We need to get our lungs cleared out, though."

Jennifer and Aaron remained calm as an EMT approached them.

"Can you come with us? We have to take you in." A female said, leading them to an ambulance.

JJ's white blouse looked no lighter than grey, and Hotch's sky-blue dress shirt looked as though it were a slate colour. Ash covered their bodies and it was sprinkled throughout their hair. It was more prominent in Aaron's darker locks. They walked, hand in hand, to an ambulance, where medics began to clean their ears out.

"Will our daughter be okay?" Hotch asked suddenly. His heart began to pound. It was like being back at boarding school. He hated answering questions, but he felt as though he had to do it to get a decent grade. Before he would even raise his hand, his heart would try to make a run for it. He swallowed and looked up at the EMT.

"The little girl?" She asked as softly as she could. The doors were closed by someone on the outside and the ambulance began to move. "She's being transported to—"

"Georgetown University Hospital, I know," Hotch said. "But will she be okay?"

The woman nodded, taking out a stethoscope. "She's in severe diabetic ketoacidosis. She had levels above 400 when she came out here. She is in critical condition, but I assure you, she will be treated successfully."

"But...the...the smoke inhalation. She inhaled so much smoke," JJ said quietly. "So much, and...and...I know it's a lot more dangerous in diabetics...I think it's...it's because of her weakened immune system...I don't know, it has to be."

"Ma'am, she is in the best hands right now. She will be treated successfully. She's been identified as a diabetic through her bracelet, and you've also gone the extra step to include that she's deaf. She will be absolutely fine."

JJ nodded and looked down at her grey and ashen legs.

"Does she need an interpreter? Does she speak?" The medic asked.

Hotch swallowed before answering. "By law she is entitled to an interpreter, and yes, she does need one. She doesn't speak."

"Okay," the EMT said softly as she began to check JJ's ears.

* * *

The room is packed. Nervous feet hit the floor as if keeping a tempo. The smell of medicine fills the air. It's silent, but the beeps of monitors and doctors speaking in the background are loud. They'd been cleared for over 3 hours now and they were in fresh clothes. Her husband's on the phone with the kids' babysitter. He's trembling, scared for his daughter's life.

Any minute now.

"Aaron and Jennifer?"

JJ stood up and held her coat over her arm. Aaron put his phone in his pocket and walked over to the doctor in navy blue scrubs.

"Is she okay?" JJ asked.

The doctor nodded slightly and looked at Hotch.

"We've stabilized her blood sugars, but we conducted a urine test and found small traces of protein—"

"Kidney failure," Hotch said quietly, looking down.

"It is very small. With the right treatment, we can prevent its progression. I assure you there is nothing to worry about. As for her blood sugar levels, they were above 600 at the time she came in here. While we were checking her lungs for smoke damage, we noticed a large amount of fluid. She is currently in the ICU—"

"Oh my God," JJ said, covering her mouth. "The ICU?"

The doctor nodded. "She has acute respiratory distress syndrome and is currently on a ventilator and is receiving oxygen."

"How long will it take for her to breathe normally again?" Hotch inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"If we're lucky, a few days. You know that she had steroids as an infant to help her lungs grow, right? So, you know that her lungs aren't as strong as full term babies'." The doctor paused and caught her breath. "She will likely come off of the ventilator in a few days, a week or two at most. And her blood sugar levels are stable for now. Would you like to come and see her?"

JJ and Hotch exchanged glances and nodded. They were led to another floor, the children's ICU floor, where Grace was. Each second that passed felt like an eternity. They were anxious to see their child, their sick and helpless child. They reached the top of the stairs and began walking down a long, colorful hallway. A pretty teal colour paint covered the walls, and snowflakes hung from the ceiling. Each door had a countdown until Christmas on it, and a little Christmas tree sat at the entrance to the pediatric ICU of the hospital.

"Is she going to be awake?" JJ asked, grabbing her husband's hand as they neared their daughter's room.

"Yes, she will be awake. She is doing very well, though she's a bit sleepy because of the medicine, but for the most part, she is doing just fine," the doctor said.

They soon approached Grace's room and JJ and Hotch watched as Grace's Doctor opened the door. A monitor beeped every other second and the ventilator made a gentle hum.

Grace turned to her parents and her doctor and waved at them.

"What's her blood sugar at right now?" Hotch asked as he pulled up a chair beside Grace's bed.

The doctor checked the computer beside the bed. "Just under 500, 492, to be exact. We're bringing them down slowly but surely."

[What is happening?] Grace signed slowly.

"She's a bit drowsy and tired, so she'll be a bit slow, but if you need me, I'm just out here, okay?"

JJ nodded and sat down on the edge of her child's bed.

[You are in the hospital,] Hotch signed. [You are okay.]

[Your hair is grey,] JJ told Grace. [Not strawberry-blonde. We should clean it.]

Grace nodded. [Clean, yes. Where are the boys?]

[They are at school,] Hotch signed. [They will be here soon. Do you want to see them?]

[Yes.]

[Do you remember what happened?] JJ asked with her hands. [Do you remember uncle Spence helping you?]

Grace nodded. [Is uncle Spence okay?]

[Yes,] Hotch answered. [The team is downstairs, in the adult hospital. They are being checked by a doctor.]

To the left of Grace's bed, her chest x-rays hung on the wall in front of a giant light. The large amount of fluid in her lungs was visible. Had she stayed in the building any longer, she would have choked and died.

"Should I see if Reid can come up and see her?" JJ asked her husband aloud.

Hotch nodded. "I think she'll like that."

JJ left the room and that gave Hotch and Grace time to communicate. Hotch looked around the brightly decorated room with butterflies and bumble bees and breathed in the medicinal air. The white linen curtains had been drawn to the left, revealing the starting of a snowstorm outside.

[White,] Grace signed, kicking her feet in excitement. [Snow!]

[Yes, snow! It is pretty, isn't it?]

Grace nodded excitedly. [Christmas.]

[Soon,] Hotch answered. [When you are well enough to walk and breathe on your own, we will bring you outside to see the snow.]

[It will be so cold!] Grace signed. [There are not any coats here!]

Hotch laughed as he grabbed Grace's small hand and held it tightly.

* * *

"What d'you mean she can't breathe?" Jack asked, unzipping his coat as they reached the pediatric ICU.

Their babysitter and family friend, Lily, unzipped Tyler and Benjamin's coats.

"She breathed in a lot of smoke, okay? She has a tube in her throat that is helping her breathe. So you can still use sign language, okay?"

"So, she's okay?" Henry asked worriedly.

"Yes, she is just fine. Let's go and see her."

They reached Grace's room and knocked a few times.

"I'm sorry we're here so late," Lily said, eyeing the clock. "It's almost 1 in the morning. The boys couldn't sleep without seeing Grace and saying goodnight to you both."

Hotch smiled as he hugged Lily. "It's okay. Jen's fallen asleep, but I don't think sign language can wake her up."

The boys walked in, where Grace sat up in her bed, playing on an iPad. She smiled when she saw them and waved.

"Dad, how do I ask if she's okay?" Jack asked.

Hotch showed him the sign and let Jack go ahead and try it for himself.

[How are you?] The oldest child asked. [Are you okay?]

Grace smiled. [I am okay.]

The other boys didn't know as much sign language as Jack, but they knew enough to talk to Grace every day. They knew basic words and phrases, and Grace had given them each sign names. They were established in the deaf community, according to Grace.

[Do you hurt?] Tyler asked.

[No,] Grace responded.

"This is a lot of questions," Hotch said. "Do you guys wanna play with Grace on the iPad while I talk with Lily?"

The boys went straight to Grace's bed and started to play with her, waking JJ up.

"I didn't know when you'd be here!" JJ exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her 4 boys.

"This is past our bedtime!" Ben said excitedly. "But we're not tired, and it's Friday."

"No school tomorrow, so it doesn't matter," Jack said. "We can stay up as late as we want!"

JJ chuckled, pulling her husband's sweater down. "Are you not cold? It's chilly in here."

[Snow outside,] Grace signed.

[Yeah, that's why it's cold,] JJ replied. [You're smart.]

Grace laughed gently, causing her monitor to beep. Hotch rushed in quickly and stared at the screen of the monitor.

"BP's rising," Grace's doctor said calmly, putting her stethoscope to Grace's chest.

"What's happening to her?" JJ asked.

The doctor shrugged it off. "Laughing so suddenly caused her blood pressure to increase rapidly. The monitor is very sensitive, so it will send signals like that off. You just have to be gentle with her and make sure there are no sudden movements, or anything that could scare her, okay?"

JJ and Hotch nodded.

"Boys, don't scare her, alright?" Hotch asked. "Halloween is over and she's sick."

"Be kind to your sister, please. Don't have pillow fights, don't play dodgeball with her socks, and for the sake of God, don't surprise her," JJ told the boys. "Her body is trying to get better, and it can't if it's constantly being compromised."

* * *

Snow fell in heaps as the day became brighter and the world began to wake up. Doctors made their rounds and collected vitals and a nurse came around and turned each patient's miniature Christmas tree on. Hotch and JJ had decided that JJ would stay the first night with Grace, so he had gone home with the boys. JJ had fallen asleep in the chair beside Grace's bed and a doctor had come in and covered her with a rough linen blanket, much like the one on Grace's bed. Jennifer woke up to the quiet beeping of the monitor as the doctor was leaving, and rubbed her eyes.

"Dr. Stevens?" She called out, causing the blonde-haired woman to turn around.

"Yes?"

"Is she okay?" JJ asked, looking from the doctor to her daughter.

"She's fine. BP is good, vitals are stable, blood sugar is getting to normal range."

JJ nodded and soaked the information in. "What's her level at right now?"

The doctor checked her charts and looked up. "She's at 524 right now. I would give it a day or two and she'll be ready to go home."

"But what about her kidneys?"

"Her urine had a small amount of protein in it. We'll be checking again later, but we are concerned about acute kidney injury—"

"Acute kidney injury?"

The doctor took a few steps back into the room. "Acute kidney injury is when the kidneys don't function as they should...this usually progresses very suddenly, over days or weeks. We think she might not be getting enough blood to her kidneys. This is known as pre-renal AKI. It's not the kidney itself, and it's a treatable condition. You will have nothing to worry about."

"Do you know what caused it?"

"Until we run more tests, we only have the injuries she sustained in the fire, alongside her diabetes. This is an undiagnosed condition, remember, so, tests might rule it out. But be prepared for a diagnosis."

JJ nodded as the doctor walked out. She turned back to her sleeping daughter and grabbed her hand and held it tightly.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't worry! Grace is not in any pain and the injuries she sustained are explainable. The next chapter will focus more on how everyone outside the family deals with it. Thank you for getting this far! Please review, I've been missing those!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This chapter took a while to write. I apologize for the late upload! I have been busy! Anyway, in this chapter I am covering how JJ feels with all of the stress and confusion. I hope you enjoy. Please review!**

* * *

[We sent in an application for a service dog,] Jennifer signed to her daughter.

[Dog?] Grace wondered. [A dog for our family?]

JJ nodded. [Yes, a dog for our family, but especially to help you with diabetes and deafness.]

[When do we get our dog?]

[We only sent in an application, and then they will call us. But we will have to wait a while for our dog.]

Grace smiled. [I want a puppy!]

[You do?]

The child giggled. [Yes.]

* * *

What she really needed was a strong cup of coffee. And that's just what she was about to get. She sat down at one of the cafeteria tables in the hospital alongside Spencer Reid and placed her hands around the warm cup.

"How is Grace doing?" Reid asked. "I'm sorry I didn't visit last night, I fell asleep in the waiting room and visiting hours had come and gone."

"It's okay, Spence, really," JJ assured him. "Grace is doing fine...her levels are coming back down, but she's on a ventilator and they think she might have a kidney injury?"

Reid leaned back in his chair. "Acute kidney injury?"

JJ nodded. "Something like that, yeah. I have to do research on it...unless you can spill whatever's going on in your genius brain?"

"Acute kidney injury is when your kidney suddenly stops functioning the way it should and the patients health is compromised. This usually occurs between 2-10 days, with an average of 6 days. It depends on what type of injury it is. Did they tell you what type of injury it is?"

"Ah, I don't remember clearly, but it was something like renal...something? I'm sorry, I'm not much help."

Reid chuffed and leaned forward again, picking up his coffee cup. "Pre-renal AKI is when blood doesn't flow properly to the kidneys. But, the treatment is mostly non-surgical. As kidney function continues to deteriorate, doctors may begin to discuss dialysis, which is the removal of—"

"They said it was very minor," JJ said, interrupting her best friend.

"Then treatment would be diet change or medication," he told her. "Grace will be fine. This hospital has a great reputation for miracle work," he said, making JJ chuckle. "They performed a miracle c-section on you and managed to save all 3 of those kids' lives. All the doctors remember that, JJ, and that's pretty cool."

JJ chuffed. "Well, they did cut me open and stitch me up nicely, I'll give them that. And, did you know they're the most premature triplets to survive?"

"Every doctor knows that, and that's what makes them so special. It's a medical miracle!"

JJ bit her lip. "My kids hold a world record," she said disbelievingly. "Awesome."

* * *

[I have had this book since Henry was born,] JJ informed her daughter as she held up her navy blue book, decorated in little yellow stars. [Can you read the title?]

Grace shook her head. JJ frowned and then stopped herself. That was okay. It was okay to not be able to read. That was okay, she had to keep telling herself.

[This word is...baby,] JJ signed to Grace. She then pointed to the word mentioned and repeatedly signed it.

[Baby?] Grace signed. JJ nodded.

[And this word is...star,] she signed. Like before, she pointed to the second word and signed it out for Grace.

[Star,] Grace signed. [Baby Star.]

JJ looked up from the book when she heard a knock at the door.

"Hey," she said softly, closing the picture book. "I wasn't expecting you to come so soon. I thought you weren't flying in until tomorrow evening."

The dark-haired woman smiled and shook her head. "My flight got moved. Anyway, how is she?"

JJ stood up and put the book on the side table. She stood beside the woman and started to sign to Grace.

[Tell Emily hi,] she signed.

[Hi, Emily,] Grace signed.

"She's given you a sign name," JJ said aloud to her best friend. "It's a good thing. It takes a while for her to come up with those and not many people have them."

JJ stuffed her hands into the pockets of her Georgetown sweater and led Emily to one of the couches, where they sat down.

"I don't understand how this came out of...DKA," Emily said, playing with her fingers. "She's had DKA before, right? And she's never ended up on a ventilator, let alone in anything further than the ER."

Jennifer shrugged. "I don't know. I just know I didn't pack enough supplies. And I think, combined with the DKA, the smoke inhalation was just too much for her. I mean, look at her. She's tiny."

"Where are the boys?" Emily asked shortly after.

"Doing stuff at home. The boys couldn't stay, and we're not really in the position to be leaving them with more babysitters. This might be our chance to really spend time with them, considering there won't be any work for a little while."

"And how is everyone else?"

JJ exhaled deeply and pushed her hair back off of her face. "Nobody was injured badly, thankfully, I think maybe Derek got it the worst with the glass in his shoulder. But that's about it. Do you want to maybe walk around or go to the cafeteria?"

Emily nodded. "Will she be okay here?"

"She'll be fine. The nurses station is just out the door, and they know Grace pretty well from what I recall. You know what I remembered this morning? They're the miracle triplets everyone talks about. Everyone here knows her. She'll be fine."

* * *

An hour later, when JJ returned and Emily had gone to visit the others, she was greeted with loud beeping and a swarm of doctors.

"What's happening?" She called. "What's going on?"

A doctor with butterflies on her cap approached JJ and pulled her aside. "She began having a seizure about 2 minutes ago. We're stabilizing her now, but we need to ask you a few questions. Would you mind coming with me?"

JJ nodded and followed the doctor. They entered the room and the doctor closed the door behind them. She held a clipboard against her reddish-blonde curls and her short, bitten nails hit the back of the board in a soothing motion.

"Will she be okay?" JJ asked suddenly.

The doctor nodded. "It's a seizure...we see it a lot in kids...but...I, um, I don't know. There are a lot of things regarding Grace that we are trying to figure out. But, anyway—"

JJ's look made the doctor almost lose her patience.

"She should be fine," the doctor said. "Moving on...has Grace ever had a seizure?"

JJ shook her head. "No, it's never been a concern for us."

"And have you ever woken her up and noticed wet sheets?"

"We know that when she sleeps through a low, she sweats a lot and sometimes complains of a headache. Other than that, she's been completely fine. Roughly 6 out of 7 nights go smoothly."

The nurse swallowed thickly, something JJ witnessed, and wrote on her papers. "Is it possible you don't know about the seizures she has?"

JJ furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm sorry...what?"

"She may be having seizures at night. I'm not saying this is for sure, but based on what you described, she seems to be having dangerous lows at night. When was her last A1C and what was it?"

"Two months ago...she was 6.4%. The doctor said that we should raise it to 7.5, but we didn't see this as a problem. Is this why she had a seizure?"

The doctor nodded softly. "An A1C under 7 generally tells us she has a lot of lows, particularly in the night. Waking up with a headache, high blood sugar, and sweats are just a few symptoms of overnight lows. Combined, she may be experiencing seizures and being totally unaware."

"I heard that people remember seizures?" JJ asked. "I'm confused."

"Epileptics remember their seizures, most do," the doctor informed. "Diabetics, however, don't. This is why you wouldn't have caught one."

"Is there something we should be doing to help her then?" JJ asked.

The doctor nodded. "This isn't saying she's having seizures. We don't know, and you don't know. But for now, you have to start to raise that A1C a little, squeeze in another blood sugar test, and check for sweating and headaches. Okay? But this isn't anything to worry about." Her pager rang slightly and she checked it. "This isn't a seizure disorder. For her, this will be her body taking too much and her neurons became confused. Just relax about this and act normally. She's perfectly fine."

JJ nodded and watched as the doctor got up and left the room. And then she was alone with her thoughts.

* * *

"What...the hell...happened?" Hotch asked, running into the room. He caught his breath and watched JJ stand up. "I didn't...I never got a call."

JJ stuffed her hands deep into the kangaroo pocket of her Georgetown sweater and walked over to her husband. He looked down at her and watched as her eyes searched his face.

"She had a seizure—"

"A seizure? A-are you sure? I mean—"

"Yes, I'm sure. The doctor said it's nothing to worry about. But they think she might be having seizures while sleeping...I don't really know, it's complicated. But the things we talked about...they...point to her having seizures."

Hotch stepped back and covered his mouth and looked at his sleeping daughter. "What's going on with her now? Is she out? Or asleep?"

"She's too tired to do anything, she's sleeping. She's not even woken up for food since she gets it through her tube. We're losing her, Aaron, she's slipping away from us."

"I can stay here. You go home for tonight. You're running on 4 hours of sleep, Jen, go home and look after the boys. They miss you and I don't think you should be the one tiring yourself out over this...okay? This is a team effort."

JJ bit her lip in thought and looked up at her husband. "Okay, but I'll be back here first thing in the morning. Who are the boys with, anyway?"

"They've just come home from school, so Lily's with them. They really miss their mom."

Jennifer nodded. She really missed her sons. But she also really missed her daughter. She wanted her family to go back to the way it was.

* * *

Not long after the civil twilight had ended and the darkness of the night was slowly taking over, Jennifer and Aaron pulled over to the side of the road. They were supposed to be out getting food as they'd grown tired of eating hospital food. Instead, they were both on the verge of a breakdown.

"Okay, JJ, what is it?" Hotch asked, making sure the car had stopped moving.

JJ took her sweater off, revealing her bra and pulled her ponytail out. She remained silent and watched as her husband looked her up and down.

"JJ..."

"Shh," JJ said, leaning over to him. "I need you to need me."

Hotch nodded, following with what she was saying. "You need me and I need you."

"I want you to crave me every second of the day. I want everything to make you think of me. I want my touch to be the last thing you think of every night, and I want you to love me for everything I am."

"Jen, I already do. I love you for...for everything. Why are you...suddenly..."

"Last week, I went through our boxes. Our boxes from the war. The ones we kept our stuff in. I went through them. And I wasn't supposed to. My therapist told me not to. I wasn't supposed to read your letters from Iraq and I wasn't supposed to take out my boots from Afghanistan and clean the mud off of them. So I need you to help me and guide me out of this dark tunnel. Please, can you do that?"

Hotch bit his lip and nodded. "JJ, I can do anything...I'm just confused—"

"I've been waking up. With nightmares. Flashbacks. Nightmares and flashbacks. I've been seeing horrible things and thinking horrible thoughts and I can't stop. I can't stop unless I get help. And no therapist can help me stop. So I need you to help me. I need to believe that it isn't scary. But it is. I need to believe that...tomorrow will be better than today...and...and that our choice of bringing 3 children into a world of war and hatred wasn't a mistake."

"JJ, where is all of this coming from?" Hotch asked worriedly.

JJ sighed and pushed her hair off of her face. "I've had a lot of time to think...this past week, and with what's happened...I don't know how I'm supposed to continue on with my life, Aaron, am I supposed to pretend nothing happened? That that sick bastard didn't kill my baby? Am I supposed to believe that there's peace on earth?"

"Jen, put your sweater on. It's—"

"NO!" JJ snapped. "No...no...I want you. And I want you to want me."

"I do want you," Hotch started, putting his finger to his wife's lips. "I have always wanted you. I will always want you. I will always need you and crave you and I will always cherish you and love you, for all your little things. I want you and I need you and I show you...we...we watch movies together on Saturday nights and we shower together on Sunday mornings. We drive to work together. We get coffee together. I make sure they gave you the right order because I know how much you hate getting cream in your coffee...and I run out at midnight to get your favourite cupcakes when you're craving them because I love you. And this is how I show you."

JJ bit her lip. "But I want you now," she mumbled.

He took his seatbelt off and leaned over and cupped her cheeks as he kissed her. His hands traveled down her front until they reached her waist. He was hesitant to remove her bra, but he decided against it. Everything moved so fast. Her hands had managed to undo his shirt's buttons and pull it off.

"We have to stop," JJ said, looking into his eyes. "You're...you're right...I am so confused. I don't know what I want and I don't know what I need. You have to help me."

Hotch nodded and pulled his shirt back up and buttoned it. He started the car as Jennifer pulled her sweater over her head and tied her hair up in a ponytail.

"Do you know how sick Grace is?" Jennifer asked quietly as she watched the windshield wipers clear the window of snow. "I am so tired of sitting around, relying on doctors and nurses to tell me what's wrong with her. Because every single day, it's something new. And I'm tired. I just want to be at home in bed. It's so hard waking up when her machine goes off because I don't know if she's stopped breathing, I don't know anything. I really just need my daughter back."

"I know," Hotch said, pulling her into his hold. "We need our daughter back. We need our family back. We're gonna do this," he said, pushing her hair out of the way. "Together."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! I hope you are looking forward to chapter 6, where I will sort of go into how they are settling into Grace's ordeal. I've been missing your reviews! Please continue to send them in. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Taking time for myself this school year has paid off really, really well! I have tried to work with my busy schedule to come up with another couple of concepts for stories, which I will probably share on Twitter ( flunkykepner). Anyway, here is chapter 6! Read & review, please!**

* * *

Another week had come and gone and everything had stayed the same. JJ had come home from the hospital and left Grace for just a few hours. There were 6 people in the house and though the boys made it loud, it felt incomplete without Grace there. The doorbell would ring and lights would flash. Captions appeared on the TV and Grace's blood sugar testing alarm would go off in the middle of the night. It was like she was there, except she wasn't.

JJ stood silently in the kitchen, preparing cinnamon toast for breakfast. Aaron stood to her left, pouring milk into everyone's glasses. After he had finished, there were 4 glasses filled and 2 plastic cups. He turned around to see Benjamin and Jack fighting, which wasn't uncommon. They didn't always get along.

"Boys, you need to stop fighting," Hotch said calmly, pulling little Ben away from his older brother. The child was crying and all his father did was carry him over to the breakfast nook and scold the 10 year old for not knowing better.

A few minutes later, when everyone had sat down, JJ placed each persons plate in front of them and put their glass of milk in its respective place. Breakfast went quickly and quietly, as JJ was in a rush to get back to the hospital, and Hotch was supposed to be finishing decorating the house for Christmas with the boys. Everybody ate breakfast fast and washed it down with milk and placed their plates in the dishwasher alongside their glasses. And then they continued on with their day.

* * *

"How's she been doing?" JJ asked, letting go of Hotch's hand as they reached the pediatric floor. They walked right up to the nurse's station, where the doctor from a few days ago got up from her chair. She led the couple into Grace's room and started to check her chart.

"She's been doing very well," she said, scribbling things down. "We're considering weaning her off of the ventilator."

JJ raised her eyebrows and looked at her husband. "Seriously?"

The doctor nodded, smiling.

Hotch put his hand on the fuzzy lilac blanket that covered Grace's little feet. His hand then moved to the edge of the blanket. He adjusted it and fixed it so that it covered her completely.

"As you can see, she's still sleeping, but her vitals are good. We dug deeper into her kidney issue, and I am happy to inform you that she's had no further issues. You will just have to bring her for more frequent check-ups. As for her seizure a few days ago, we found that it was caused by a severely low blood sugar—"

"Was anyone watching her?" Hotch asked.

The doctor nodded. "It was a sudden low blood sugar that shocked her body, causing the seizure. We have doctors looking into it, so there is no need to worry. She's just sleeping...however if you want to wake her up, that's fine. She is, for the most part, healthy."

JJ gave a giant sigh of relief and looked up at Hotch.

"So do you know when she will be ready to come home with us?"

The doctor shrugged as she looked at the chart. "We want to continue bringing her blood sugar up, and I think we're gonna try weaning her a bit later after she's fed. Weaning while the patient has a good amount of food inside of them is what we're aiming for."

JJ nodded.

"And how does weaning work?" Hotch asked, looking from the doctor to his daughter.

"We'll simply take the tubing out. Since it's done through her nose and down her throat, there is no surgery needed. If she can breathe on her own, it's a success."

Hotch raised his eyebrows. "And if she can't?"

"It's called a difficult weaning. Most patients come off quickly, taking 1-2 days. Any longer than that and we would call it long. It's nothing to stress over. I am confident that she will do fine."

JJ and Hotch understood what the doctor was saying but they couldn't help but wonder about the future. She had to be okay. Everything had to go as planned.

* * *

"Mom," Jack said with a mouthful of a ham sandwich in his mouth. His mother was staring out the back window. "Mom," he said again.

"Sorry," JJ said softly as she turned to him. "What is it?"

Jack swallowed his food and pointed to the calendar on the fridge. "Grace's orchestra thing's tomorrow night."

"Oh," JJ said quietly, walking over to the fridge. She took the magnet off of the program and flipped through it. "I need to call them to remind them."

Jack continued eating and turned around when he heard Tyler coming into the kitchen with his empty plate.

"Where's mommy and daddy and Ben and Henry?" Tyler asked, going onto his tip toes to reach the counter.

"Mom's in her and dad's office calling Grace's school about orchestra and dad's out with Ben and Henry getting groceries."

"Oh." The child climbed up onto the counter and grabbed a banana from the fruit basket. He sat on the counter— something he knew he wasn't supposed to do—and unpeeled it.

Hotch walked in with Benjamin and Henry and a bunch of bags. Jack jumped down from his seat and Tyler hopped off of the counter. They rushed over to their father and brothers and started to unpack the bags.

And that was how every day was. It was the same.

* * *

Nobody asked where JJ was anymore because they knew she was most likely in the hospital. The Friday before Christmas marked 2 weeks in hospital for Grace. Her room in the PICU was decorated with fairy lights and a small silver Christmas tree sat in the corner of the room covered in purple tinsel. JJ had spent hours decorating the room so it would be ready when she woke up. She'd wrapped dozens of presents but ended up leaving them at home in hopes of being home for Christmas.

The boys had come with their parents to visit Grace. She was very happy to see them and she was well enough to continue using sign language. The doctors had been in every few hours to check her vitals and they told them that by nighttime, she might be breathing on her own. If she could breathe on her own, they'd keep her overnight for further observation and then move her to another room of lesser supervision. All in all, things were beginning to look up.

"I see you've brought everyone," the doctor said excitedly, following them into the room. "Your sister will be better soon."

Being 4 year olds, Benjamin and Tyler thought it was a good idea to jump onto Grace's bed and startle her. She moved suddenly and looked up at her mother and father with a confused face.

[Why don't you go through those alphabet books and teach Grace her sign letters?] JJ offered to Henry, who had already started flipping through them.

[Sure,] he signed and took the book to Grace's bed. He got up onto her bed and crawled into the blankets beside her, careful of her tubing.

JJ and Hotch walked out of the room and into the hallway. JJ threw her hair up in a ponytail and stuffed her hands into her pockets. Hotch moved closer to her and pushed a baby hair out of her face. She smiled, looked down, and then swallowed thickly.

"I'm getting coffee," JJ informed him quietly, looking into the room where their 5 children were.

"I'll come with you," Hotch told her. "Will she be okay?"

JJ nodded. "Yeah," she said, thinking back to the last time she left her by herself.

"She won't have another seizure," Aaron said. "If that's what you're thinking."

Jennifer shook her head and smiled relievedly. "Let's get coffee."

* * *

"That's an A," Henry said as he made the sign letter using his fist. "I think it's an A. Jack, is that an A?"

Jack leaned over and nodded. [A].

"I wanna see," Benjamin asked loudly as he moved over to where Henry was holding up the book. "Grace doesn't even know this."

[Do...you...know this?] Jack signed with difficulty.

[Yes.] Grace signed back. [Baby Star.]

Jack nodded, unsure of what his sister had signed. "Sure."

JJ had taken post-it notes and drawn signs on them and stuck them throughout the book to help her teach Grace.

"Mom said not to move the stickies," Jack said to Henry, who had started to peel a pink note from the page.

[Once, there was a baby star,] Grace signed, reading the note. [Who lived up near the sun.]

"What's she saying?" Henry asked. Jack shrugged.

[And every night at bedtime that baby star wanted to have some fun.]

[Slow down,] Henry signed. [I don't understand.]

Grace giggled. [I'm reading the book.]

[Oh,] Jack signed.

The doctor walked in to check Grace's vitals and stopped. "It's quiet in here," she said. "But you're all saying a lot of things."

"Is Grace okay?" Jack asked, walking over to the woman.

She nodded and scribbled "stuff" as she called it down in her chart. "Grace's blood sugar is a little high, we're going to finish bringing it down and then tonight we are going to take that tube out."

"What does that tube do?" Jack asked,

"That tube is helping Grace breathe. When she got sick, she breathed in a lot of smoke and her body didn't like that so she couldn't breathe. But she is much better now and she will probably be back on her feet by Christmas."

Jack gasped. "So she'll be better on Christmas?"

"We hope so," the doctor smiled.

* * *

JJ and Hotch returned to the room half an hour later to see Henry and Grace sitting on the bed trying to communicate. Henry was evidently frustrated and kept groaning when Grace signed a word he didn't understand. Tyler and Benjamin had fallen asleep on the couch by the big window and Jack was fast asleep on the chair by the bed.

"Henry," Hotch said quietly. "We're here now. Do you want to go to sleep?"

"I'm tired," Henry said, putting the book on the table.

[Are you tired?] JJ asked Grace.

[Yes.] Grace signed.

JJ picked Henry up off of the bed and carried him over to the other couch and let him fall asleep. Hotch pulled Grace's blankets up over her and kissed her before closing the blinds.

"Who knew all of them would be asleep at once?" Hotch asked with a laugh.

"The past 2 weeks have been pretty exhausting for all of us," JJ offered, checking her phone. "And Christmas is in 3 days. Do you think we will all be at home?"

Hotch kissed JJ and pulled her in tightly. "I know we'll be at home."

Jack walked up to the door where his parents were standing and stood there until they were finished talking.

"I thought you were asleep," Hotch said to him quietly.

Jack shrugged. "I was resting."

"Did you have something to ask?" JJ questioned.

Jack nodded. "Some of the boys at school a few weeks ago said they were gonna get fat and get diabetes from all the candy we had at the Christmas party and it made me upset."

JJ frowned. "Did it make you upset because your sister has diabetes? Or is there something else?"

"I'm confused," Jack clarified sheepishly, playing with his fingers. "Grace is really small, so why does she have diabetes? I mean, she got diabetes when she was a baby, right?"

Hotch and JJ nodded.

"And I don't think babies eat a lot of candy—"

"I think they mean type 2 diabetes," JJ said, folding her arms as she leaned against the wall.

Jack gave them a questioning look. "Type 2 diabetes? Is that what Grace has?"

"There are a few different types, Jack," Hotch started. "There's type 1, what Grace has, which her body got on its own. She didn't make herself get diabetes. Then there's type 2 which is mainly caused by the foods you eat. Type 2 is different than type 1 because if you have type 2, your body isn't making enough insulin, but in type 1, your body isn't making any at all. Does that make sense?"

Jack nodded slightly. "So Grace has type 1 diabetes?"

JJ nodded. "Grace has type 1, so she didn't cause it. Those boys don't know what they're talking about. Tell them they're silly," she said. "Say your sister has type 1. That'll confuse them."

"There's a girl at my school that's in 8th grade and she has diabetes. She's really skinny and she always has to go the nurse's office to get her shot. And she even has a dog that's at her house to tell her if she's got a low or high blood sugar," Jack said. "So she's got type 1, too?"

"Maybe, probably," Hotch said. "But you shouldn't be worrying about that. Why don't you try and get some sleep? We'll probably be up tonight with Grace while she gets her tubes out."

Jack walked away, leaving Aaron and Jennifer at the door.

"Our application for a service dog for Grace went through and they're going to get back to me within a day or two. It's been a week since I sent it in," JJ said.

"It kills me how long it takes to actually get the dog, though," Hotch commented. "Grace could be 5 or 6 or even 7 by the time we actually get the dog. And she's barely turned 4; it could take years."

JJ shrugged. "I think it's worth the wait. We'll get a deaf...slash...diabetic service dog. It'll be trained, so he won't do anything he's not supposed to...and when he's not on duty, he'll get to play with the kids. Won't that be great?"

Hotch nodded. "I think they'll be excited. Jack's been—"

"Henry's been—"

"Wanting one since..," Hotch and JJ said simultaneously.

"Haley..."

"Will..."

The pair laughed briefly and turned to the room of sleeping children. Hotch pulled JJ into his side and slid his arms around her waist.

"I think a dog would do us good," he told her.

"I do, too."

* * *

 **A/N: If you'd like to see anything happen to this family in another story, feel free to let me know via review! I am always open to your reviews and if I'm being honest, I'm quite disappointed. I wish this site made it easier for people to leave their reviews. I hope you liked this chapter! What was your favourite part? Let me know!**


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